My mother always reminded me, “communication was very important in any relationship. ” To which i responded “……”. Nothing….
We had our disagreements and my pride telling me “I’m not the one who must change, she’s the one. ” or my vocation/tiredness telling me “you don’t have to respond anything, she will understand it anyway”. Now, i could say such things had done more harm to my relationship with my mother than anything else. She might even had thought she’d better have a robot at her home which at least responds… But because of my selfish prideful attitude, not only my mother was hurting, so was i as there was not peace and always a disturbance… And i looked to the heavens… to which a response came “Boy, you need to take a look at your heart”. From then started a pursuit for transformation of my heart and renewal of my mind.
Life is very busy, isn’t it ? We have jobs, responsibilities (if singles, we are least bothered whether we have or not), career, and somewhere in the basement, Family. We have time for everything, with which the self can be comfortable with. To buy food, cars, bikes, houses, Computers, TVs, Bigger TVs, and even Bigger TVs. Our time is used wastefully lavishly. As i travel in the trains and buses again and again, i look around, i see people, lots of them. They either don’t care/bother to listen to anyone, or don’t have anybody to listen to. And when you start speaking to them, their life opens up, right on your face. A broken family, a broken finance, broken health, and what not.. and these pains stay suppressed under the curtains of the handsome/beautiful faces.
Now, as i look to God through the Scripture (Bible), and the broken human relationship, one thing is clear. We have missed 2 things :
The pains and difficulties of my journey invoked a cry for help to the heavens, God above, and my cry was genuine, and He knew it and He responded. But He was not talking about tips n’ tricks to change others, but I as person. The more i waited, wrestled, and listened to Him, there was something happening in me, and still happening, which for sure i knew is NOT me. As God stated speaking to me and telling about Himself, and His Holiness, yet His tender transforming love caught my attention. And the only response i had was “My Life is a Mess”.
And i started speaking to Him in response, and many times, even found it difficult to talk about few things thinking, “What would Jesus think about me ?”. Even thought it took it’s time (waiting), there was something changing in my own heart and mindset, towards God and towards people. I started introspecting my own heart other than pointing fingers at others, started listening and communicating with others than just being by my self.
“The more you are desperate for victory in your own personal life, you will be hard on yourself for a change, and soft on others” – Leonard Ravenhill.
If dear reader are struggling in matters to relationship, the best place to start is ‘share’ your life story to someone whom you find trustworthy. And if you are in Chennai, and if you want to share your story with someone who would listen to you, River of Destiny is the place for you. It’s been over 4 years since I started coming to this place, and i could literally see me coming into Life from Death..