There is always a Choice to Turn Back towards Restoration…

Posts tagged ‘passion’

5. Declaration of The Commitment

“A man who won’t die for something is not fit to live” –  Martin Luther King, Jr.


It takes me back to times when I was searching for love, or someone whom I can relate with intimately, till I found the common solution for both the seeks.  As I approached different girls attracted by their beauty, or may be lust in my heart, I was rejected and all attempts failed over and over again. I was foolish. I didn’t even know what I was looking for, ‘Love’ ? If you had asked me at that time, “what is love ?”, I’m not sure if I was in a position to answer that then. If God had not intervened in time, I would have hurt a lots more women, and might have ended up violating them.trapped_in_the_world_of_Kafka_by_tape

There was a time I was emotionally involved with this woman in another country whom I shall leave unnamed. She was beautiful, emotionally sensitive, a simple girl, a broken family, father, a drinker. Whenever I approached her, she made excuses to not to relate with me, and told how unrealistic the relationship would be as both the countries are afar. But cleverly did I give her the calculations of the money involved in the conveyance, and showy I trapped her in, after which we skyped and had regular conversations. I knew I was doing something wrong, and I violated many values which I thought I’d never violate. I was in desperation of love, or what was it anyway? I was just going on the weight of emotions.

One fine Friday, she came on my messenger and told me those golden words “I love You”, to which I responded “What do you mean ?”. I’d no clue what was happening. My mind totally went blank. So after all these years, what I went after is something that I didn’t understand ? That day, I closed the conversation without a response and totally blank, and she, helpless. The next day, during a prayer meeting, I heard the voice “NO”, and I was clear it was about this relationship which I started on the wrong foundation, which was on emotions, evil, lust and lies. Then I said to myself “If it is from GOD, I will obey. Even if it’s not from GOD, I will obey it as if GOD’s will, He will bring it back.” And in half an hour the whole thing was dissolved. Of course she couldn’t handle it, and I as normal guys, I didn’t know what I just did or how to handle or didn’t care much about the girl. As the rest of what I did concerning that is irrelevant to this article, I’m leaving that out. This I’d say that, I asked her apology, and connected her with one of the matured married Christian lady friends in that country and encouraged her to be in touch. Now as I look back, I see that small obedience to the voice which I heard, was the beginning of a change in my life, forever. It was after this that I started my first blog on relationships.

We youngsters are and having been craving for love, many times not realizing what we are craving for. Love is nothing but a word, if there is no commitment. I’ve heard it, time and time again from people who are in relationship, the answer to my question “When are you getting married?” or “Are you sure that he/she is going to marry you ?”. The response was either negative or gray.

A promise must never be broken – Alexander Hamilton

Through the Word of GOD, and my experiences, I started to understanding the real meaning of Love. Love is not just a word, not just a feeling, not just an expression, but a commitment to continuous expression of interest and in intimacy life long , and to never let go, even if the sky falls down. The moment you and I say that “I am in love with you”, or “I love you”, you are entering and committing  to a relationship which is everlasting, else we are just playing with words & lying to self and others.

love-decision-commitmentUnfortunately, many don’t know this as this has not been received or experienced from their parents and the even parents might not have received this love. For this revelation only comes from GOD through the Bible. The moment you and I understand and experience the Committed, Never ending, Unconditional, Experiential, Never Failing, Resurrecting, and Restoring Love, we are revealed of a greater depth of understanding of what it means to Love others.

True Love casts out fear for True love expels the darkness. Many people say, “we both are in love, and it’s not required to get married. we can live together. ” Sadly, what they are actually saying is that “We want to keep our options open, We are  not sure if tomorrow’s mood and desire allows to like to like this man/woman. ” The naked truth is that, both wants to use each other for their own selfish pleasures and desires, nothing to do with Love.  If you are claiming to be in love, test your love and ‘tie the knot’. Don’t beat around the bush. And all this, do it in the presence of your people, so that there is no way out of it, no matter what, but there is help and advice when you need, in taking forward the relationship. That is committed True Love.

To man : If you claim to be in Love with a woman, show that you are man enough to hold her hand and with the assistance of your Old man, ask her parents for her hand. If they don’t allow, that’s a different story. We might talk about that later. But if you think you need more time for a commitment, then wait, respect the lady, respect her body, and for heaven sake don’t abuse her. You prove that you are a man by loving, respecting and protecting the lady you love. Don’t be a Chicken !!
To woman : If some guy claims that he is in love with you, don’t fall for it. Know who you are. Don’t let him take your emotions for granted. Draw the boundaries. If he is crossing the boundaries, believe me when I tell you this, ‘he will never respect you and your opinion for the rest of your lives’. Don’t let him touch your body before he declares in front of his parents/elders/mentors that you are his girl forever, and the ‘knot is tied’ & the ‘ring is exchanged’.  

Now, many of you think all that I’ve said is impossible unless a miracle happens. Then the rest of the article is for you and especially if you are a true follower of Jesus Christ.commitment1

The reason the Son of GOD, Jesus came to this earth as human, and died is because He loved us, He wanted to save us from sin.  In other words, GOD not only claimed that He loved us, He expressed it through Jesus Christ, His only Son. Jesus rose again on the third day, so that we will have a life and hope again. GOD in Himself is Love. GOD in Himself is expression of that Love, through action. And He wishes to ravished that love on us, and in us. Once you start receiving His Love, through the Word He has given us, you will see a whole new dimension to the Word LOVE. Further more, Jesus expects and commands you to love your partner like His love for us; unchanging, unconditional, committed, earth-shaking, history making, and even life-giving.

We now a days, we despise  and reject the counsel of the elders/mentors, and finally we end up in a real bad state. What I would suggest you is that, IF YOU KNOW, BELIEVE, and SEE that your mentor/elder is having a close walk with Jesus Christ or if they know who you are and if you have the freedom to be transparent with them, then share it with him/her, share your desire before presenting it to the man or woman, and take counsel. But before anything PRAY. None knows the future and the other person better that GOD Himself, who holds the time in His hands, and who know who is who, and how is who.

“You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist” – Indira Gandhi

May God Bless You !!

I ‘Love’ my car. . Or Do i ?

As i was coming to the office today, i was thinking on what should i write about. Then came the heading “I love Barbie dolls”. But i being a guy and not a being a big fan of Barbie, i customized the heading. Like they say, “Never judge  the Book by its cover” and I’d add this “never judge the blog by its title”.

It’s very usual that we hear statements like these. “I love my car”, “i love ice cream” or “i love my dog”. I asked my friend what is something that she loves to which she responded

“chocolatess!!!! yummmm”
me: “oh speaking of chocolates. my friend sent me chocolates from Netherlands”
she: “.. i envy you”

” Love have been used for everything that Tom, Dick, and Harry ‘made’, but themselves. Now you might think I’m too critical to write something like that. If you go to any western country you’ll see the pets cared for and being loved patted and taken care off where the family is separated and are divorced and don’t live together anymore. Unfortunately this shift is taking place in the East too, at an alarming rate. The place of human companionship is replaced by something else. Love is used out of context. Has love lost its meaning ?

But instead of dwelling on that I’d like to scribe something different which initially would not make look related, but later i hope and pray that you will see the dots connected.

The word is “Jealousy“. A fear or losing something or someone. A word which we rarely use, yet commonly expressed silently. A word which we consider so negative and wrong, but we do have the feeling which we don’t want to show to others. it is about a feeling like “you have something which I don’t have” or “you have something better than mine”. We see this in offices, schools, or in any sector may it be. In the schools in India, the life of a kid is tough. It is competition and the kids are under pressure. I sometimes feel there is this “I envy you” thing going on. There is a lot to talk on this, but in short “envy is the heart of  this type of jealousy”

Let’s take the life of Tim and Christina. Met each other in their college, was in relationship and after 1 year, got married. They are at the peak of passion for each other. Their honeymoon was great and so was the following 2-3 years. . It was like the glimpse of heaven in their house. The house was so lite up. They were with each other most of the time.  Of course, Tim started working and Christina didn’t continue with her career after their marriage. It’s been few years now after marriage. Tim got promotions and offers to go abroad. He started being away from home for a week or a couple, or sometimes even a month. The relationship started being a bit shaky because of less communication and time together. Romance sort of died out and this went for sometime. Their life started becoming dry. But Tim was working hard and he still loved his wife so dearly and passionately, yet didn’t find time or make time to be with her or  express to her. After sometime he came to know that his wife is having an affair with another man, and they meet when he was is away. He was angry and frustrated, disappointed, and jealous. It was an explosion. Since then they were going for each other’s neck and finally they said, “It’s over”

To be honest, i wouldn’t being jealous for the reason for being unfaithful is wrong. It is natural out of the experience of betrayal. But the question is what are we going to do about that feeling. This is just another story among thousands of stories which we hear every now and then. Either the husband or the wife, entering into a relationship outside the marriage, and when exposed, things go real bad, and there are even stories of being murdered of being unfaithful.

Isn’t it so interesting that we are so self-destructive ? Jealousy has a real bad effect on out life.

This is my point.

Jealousy out of the love for anything is destructive because it is out of envy. People kill each other for money and fame, simply because they ‘love’ more than the person. It could also be some feelings or pleasures or beauty, but the person herself.

Jealousy in a relationship could also be destructive. But it is because the ego is hurt. It is betrayal and the self is so hurt and we feel so rejected, disappointed, and angry  It leads to destroying each other.

In both the cases, jealousy is a response to “injustice/unfairness to self” and it becomes destructive to other person.

Let me introduce you to a different jealousy…

Jealousy of God

As interesting as it is, The Holy Bible mentions about two angles of Jealousy, one of God, and the other of man . Let me quote a scripture here, because I feel that it’s important so that the point is clearly understood.

“You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.    – Exodus 20:4-6

Here is God who is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion. He is a compassionate Father who wants His children to have the best. He is so jealous for us when we go away from Him, because He knows that we destroy ourselves when we are away from His love. He just comes after us again and again to give us help so that we don’t be lost for ever. His jealousy is out of concern. So this Jealous God came down by the name of Jesus Christ. At the cross of Jesus Christ, His jealousy was revealed by sacrificing Himself saying “I Love You. You are Forgiven”. God is asking for that relationship that will turn good for us.

Person who loves things destroys the person who has more.

Person who loves another person destroys the other person for the hurt and rejection, at the time of compromise or unfaithfulness.

God’s love for the people sacrifices Himself so that we can be loved, forgiven, redeemed and restored.

Here is the application, till we receive this sacrificial love of God and express it to others, there will be wars. There will be terrorism. There will be murders n’ rapes.

Receive this Love, Save this Planet

*Thanks to Tim Keller whose message “Jealousy of God” help me to have a deeper understanding of the Love of God expressed in His Jealousy, and inspire me to write this.

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