There is always a Choice to Turn Back towards Restoration…

Posts tagged ‘Jesus’

Communication, Enhancing relationships ….

My mother always reminded me, “communication was very important in any relationship. ” To which i responded “……”. Nothing….

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We had our disagreements and my pride telling me “I’m not the one who must change, she’s the one. ” or my vocation/tiredness telling me “you don’t have to respond anything, she will understand it anyway”. Now, i could say such things had done more harm to my relationship with my mother than anything else. She might even had thought she’d better have a robot at her home which at least responds… But because of my selfish prideful attitude, not only my mother was hurting, so was i as there was not peace and always a disturbance… And i looked to the heavens… to which a response came “Boy, you need to take a look at your heart”. From then started a pursuit for transformation of my heart and renewal of my mind.

Life is very busy, isn’t it ? We have jobs, responsibilities (if singles, we are least bothered whether we have or not), career, and somewhere in the basement, Family. We have time for everything,facts of life with which the self can be comfortable with. To buy food, cars, bikes, houses, Computers, TVs, Bigger TVs, and even Bigger TVs.  Our time is used wastefully lavishly. As i travel in the trains and buses again and again, i look around, i see people, lots of them. They either don’t care/bother to listen to anyone, or don’t have anybody to listen to. And when you start speaking to them, their life opens up, right on your face. A broken family, a broken finance, broken health, and what not.. and these pains stay suppressed under the curtains of the handsome/beautiful faces.

Now, as i look to God through the Scripture (Bible), and the broken human relationship, one thing is clear. We have missed 2 things :

1. Waiting/Listening.
2. Communicating/Responding.

The pains and difficulties of my journey invoked a cry for help to the heavens, God above, and my cry was genuine, and He knew it and He responded. But He was not talking about tips n’ tricks to change others, but I as person. The more i waited, wrestled, and listened to Him, there was something happening in me, and still happening, which for sure i knew is NOT me. As God stated speaking to me and telling about Himself, and His Holiness, yet His tender transforming  love caught my attention. And the only response i had was “My Life is a Mess”.

And i started speaking to Him in response, and many times, even found it difficult to talk about few things thinking, “What would Jesus think about me ?”.  Even thought it took it’s time (waiting), there was something changing in my own heart and mindset, towards God and towards people. I started introspecting my own heart other than pointing fingers at others, started listening and communicating with others than just being by my self.

“The more you are desperate for victory in your own personal life, you will be hard on yourself for a change, and soft on others” – Leonard Ravenhill.

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If dear reader are struggling in matters to relationship, the best place to start is ‘share’ your life story to someone whom you find trustworthy. And if you are in Chennai, and if you want to share your story with someone who would listen to you, River of Destiny is the place for you. It’s been over 4 years since I started coming to this place, and i could literally see me coming into Life from Death..

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Truth with relevance….

Jesus Lived 2000 years ago, and after His death and resurrection, His disciples went to the distant places and preached and LIVED the Gospel, and finally died for it. Since then, the Truth of the Bible have been shaping, resurrecting, and rebuilding millions of lives in the last 2 millenniums. Each faithful men of God became God’s mouth piece in their generation.

After Jesus making everything eternally relevant, His followers LIVED and MADE the Truth of the Kingdom relevant to their generation. One of the reasons people are not serious about their faith in Jesus Christ is simply this that they fail to see a relevance on how the Gospel connect with the daily lives in the 21st century.

Jesus came to reconcile man to God, and to reveal the Truth about Him and us which would ultimately transform and renew our life. The more we allow Jesus into our lives, the more God transforms our heart, and renews our mind, and He becomes relevant in our lives and to our generations. It is another way of proclaiming that a Daily walk with Jesus in these times are possible, so that none has an excuse not to. There is none better to speak to our generation about God, than a life that is in pursuit of Christ, His heart, and His truth.

God is looking for One person, Just one. Just One

A Beauty Beyond the Face ..

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“No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful.”― Eleanor Roosevelt

The first time someone caught my attention was when i was in the 5th grade. She was fair and beautiful. I longed to be with her but my self-esteem hold me back. I remember many a Saturdays riding my bicycle to her house over 20 kilometers away and just wait on the other side of her house behind the bushes to have a glance of that beautiful face. Not many times have i done that. Why would one drive all the way  when he can meet her every day when there is school ? 🙂 i purused her, silently. And i boasted about my unending love for her, yet the pain of no response and insult from my friends for being a fool. It’s been over 15 years now, still my eyes look for beauty, i cannot take it out. It is a part of me. I would be a hypocrite to say that i do not look at beautiful women. However, in the last 2-3 years, a lot have changed in what beauty means to me.

Every man seeks for the beauty and every woman seeks for that care and protection. I will be looking into the beauty part of it as of now. It was, is and always will be the driving of man for beauty and the pleasure of enjoying the beauty and making it own. One of the properties of Truth is that it is consistent and constant as the time goes by. it may build up and get better, but never contradict nor fade away. Which means that whatever  we claim to be True, whether may it be True Beauty, True Love, True peace, True Joy, True Life, or True ‘anything’, it Has to be consistent. The physical Beauty of a woman maybe instantly captivating, yet as the age goes by it is fading. Then what is in her that makes her worth captivating ?

The ‘Old Living Book’ says “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”. So the real beauty is beyond what is instantly seen or pleasured. One of the reasons whyBeauty and Character relationships break down is because of men fails to see the beauty beyond what the eyes can see, and their eyes are still in their pursuit of satisfying that appetite for fresh instantly pleasing beauty. Finally, it opens doors for multiple partners and relationships outside marriage.

The man who is captivated the character of his woman (singular), is the one going to be forever in True Love with her, for as the years passes by her character becomes finer, and she becomes the most beautiful woman in the whole world, for he know her beyond what his eyes meet. All being easy to write and say, Yet the question remains … HOW ?

The Bible says “God looks at the heart”, and everything comes from the heart according to the condition of the heart. Only God can transform our hearts, and it is our privilege to ask God to look into our heart and help us change it into something worth His glory.

Men, Look to God, He is your God and source of Unlimited Love. Take charge and be responsible steward of what is given to you. Tame your passions. Let Him transform our heart and character which would enable us to see beyond what our eyes can see. Look at the character of  the woman, love her, protect her, respect her. And when the time comes in mono committed relational privacy, secure her in your love and protection till the time ends.,.

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Woman, Look to God, He is your First Love, and the source of Unlimited Love, Security and protection. Let your beauty reflect that of Christ which makes you responsible for how you take care of yourself. Carry yourself with dignity. Allow God to work in your character so that you may find the will of God, His Holy will, and the man who will lead you in the adventure of  Pursuing the Greater Purposes of God. .

5. Declaration of The Commitment

“A man who won’t die for something is not fit to live” –  Martin Luther King, Jr.

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It takes me back to times when I was searching for love, or someone whom I can relate with intimately, till I found the common solution for both the seeks.  As I approached different girls attracted by their beauty, or may be lust in my heart, I was rejected and all attempts failed over and over again. I was foolish. I didn’t even know what I was looking for, ‘Love’ ? If you had asked me at that time, “what is love ?”, I’m not sure if I was in a position to answer that then. If God had not intervened in time, I would have hurt a lots more women, and might have ended up violating them.trapped_in_the_world_of_Kafka_by_tape

There was a time I was emotionally involved with this woman in another country whom I shall leave unnamed. She was beautiful, emotionally sensitive, a simple girl, a broken family, father, a drinker. Whenever I approached her, she made excuses to not to relate with me, and told how unrealistic the relationship would be as both the countries are afar. But cleverly did I give her the calculations of the money involved in the conveyance, and showy I trapped her in, after which we skyped and had regular conversations. I knew I was doing something wrong, and I violated many values which I thought I’d never violate. I was in desperation of love, or what was it anyway? I was just going on the weight of emotions.

One fine Friday, she came on my messenger and told me those golden words “I love You”, to which I responded “What do you mean ?”. I’d no clue what was happening. My mind totally went blank. So after all these years, what I went after is something that I didn’t understand ? That day, I closed the conversation without a response and totally blank, and she, helpless. The next day, during a prayer meeting, I heard the voice “NO”, and I was clear it was about this relationship which I started on the wrong foundation, which was on emotions, evil, lust and lies. Then I said to myself “If it is from GOD, I will obey. Even if it’s not from GOD, I will obey it as if GOD’s will, He will bring it back.” And in half an hour the whole thing was dissolved. Of course she couldn’t handle it, and I as normal guys, I didn’t know what I just did or how to handle or didn’t care much about the girl. As the rest of what I did concerning that is irrelevant to this article, I’m leaving that out. This I’d say that, I asked her apology, and connected her with one of the matured married Christian lady friends in that country and encouraged her to be in touch. Now as I look back, I see that small obedience to the voice which I heard, was the beginning of a change in my life, forever. It was after this that I started my first blog on relationships.

We youngsters are and having been craving for love, many times not realizing what we are craving for. Love is nothing but a word, if there is no commitment. I’ve heard it, time and time again from people who are in relationship, the answer to my question “When are you getting married?” or “Are you sure that he/she is going to marry you ?”. The response was either negative or gray.

A promise must never be broken – Alexander Hamilton

Through the Word of GOD, and my experiences, I started to understanding the real meaning of Love. Love is not just a word, not just a feeling, not just an expression, but a commitment to continuous expression of interest and in intimacy life long , and to never let go, even if the sky falls down. The moment you and I say that “I am in love with you”, or “I love you”, you are entering and committing  to a relationship which is everlasting, else we are just playing with words & lying to self and others.

love-decision-commitmentUnfortunately, many don’t know this as this has not been received or experienced from their parents and the even parents might not have received this love. For this revelation only comes from GOD through the Bible. The moment you and I understand and experience the Committed, Never ending, Unconditional, Experiential, Never Failing, Resurrecting, and Restoring Love, we are revealed of a greater depth of understanding of what it means to Love others.

True Love casts out fear for True love expels the darkness. Many people say, “we both are in love, and it’s not required to get married. we can live together. ” Sadly, what they are actually saying is that “We want to keep our options open, We are  not sure if tomorrow’s mood and desire allows to like to like this man/woman. ” The naked truth is that, both wants to use each other for their own selfish pleasures and desires, nothing to do with Love.  If you are claiming to be in love, test your love and ‘tie the knot’. Don’t beat around the bush. And all this, do it in the presence of your people, so that there is no way out of it, no matter what, but there is help and advice when you need, in taking forward the relationship. That is committed True Love.

To man : If you claim to be in Love with a woman, show that you are man enough to hold her hand and with the assistance of your Old man, ask her parents for her hand. If they don’t allow, that’s a different story. We might talk about that later. But if you think you need more time for a commitment, then wait, respect the lady, respect her body, and for heaven sake don’t abuse her. You prove that you are a man by loving, respecting and protecting the lady you love. Don’t be a Chicken !!
 
To woman : If some guy claims that he is in love with you, don’t fall for it. Know who you are. Don’t let him take your emotions for granted. Draw the boundaries. If he is crossing the boundaries, believe me when I tell you this, ‘he will never respect you and your opinion for the rest of your lives’. Don’t let him touch your body before he declares in front of his parents/elders/mentors that you are his girl forever, and the ‘knot is tied’ & the ‘ring is exchanged’.  
 

Now, many of you think all that I’ve said is impossible unless a miracle happens. Then the rest of the article is for you and especially if you are a true follower of Jesus Christ.commitment1

The reason the Son of GOD, Jesus came to this earth as human, and died is because He loved us, He wanted to save us from sin.  In other words, GOD not only claimed that He loved us, He expressed it through Jesus Christ, His only Son. Jesus rose again on the third day, so that we will have a life and hope again. GOD in Himself is Love. GOD in Himself is expression of that Love, through action. And He wishes to ravished that love on us, and in us. Once you start receiving His Love, through the Word He has given us, you will see a whole new dimension to the Word LOVE. Further more, Jesus expects and commands you to love your partner like His love for us; unchanging, unconditional, committed, earth-shaking, history making, and even life-giving.

We now a days, we despise  and reject the counsel of the elders/mentors, and finally we end up in a real bad state. What I would suggest you is that, IF YOU KNOW, BELIEVE, and SEE that your mentor/elder is having a close walk with Jesus Christ or if they know who you are and if you have the freedom to be transparent with them, then share it with him/her, share your desire before presenting it to the man or woman, and take counsel. But before anything PRAY. None knows the future and the other person better that GOD Himself, who holds the time in His hands, and who know who is who, and how is who.

“You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist” – Indira Gandhi

May God Bless You !!
George

Light of my Soul

As the sunshine fell on my bed today,
Wide awake on my bed to stay,
Found self amidst a different world
To begin with, an altered heart I saw in me.

Feels like the greens are now gone gray
The blues have faded is tune,
The one who I thought she was,
Was i my mind, a history.

To the Light i said “you are my guide”,
But seems like, it has just got dimmer
Has the world expanded further, I wonder,
Does anyone no more really care ?

So intense, the loneliness which I fight,
So hard, to tell my heart “move on”
Yet Look around for a final hope,
None i found, and to the heavens I cried “why o why”

“mind has power”, they said,
‘Ignorance is bliss’ I concurred then.
But this now I do recognize,
As it took me to the pages of History.

There i saw a man named Job,
Unsure of the job he did then,
But looses everything of his, everything he loved,
Yet to heaven he bowed, and in worship he was still.

My heart arouse with a stronger beat
Seemed like a resurrected soul in me
And now to the heavens I cried
“How Great is My God Indeed !!”

He is History, The He in me,
When my light leaves, He shines,
When I fall, i recall the truth
Still on His shoulder is my place I sit

When all is lost and all is gone,
When she left, and he said “bye”,
When alone in the darkest time,
I can still sing to my soul.

“it is well with my soul”…

-Ashrit Mathew George

4. The Unopened Gift Box

I’d like to share my thoughts on this topic. What I share could either offend you or change your life, depending on your heart’s condition. But no matter what, The Truth does not bend itself to satisfy the emotional contentment or personal feelings. In these days relativistic and post-modern philosophy, its high time that we raise our voices and stand for Absolute Truth and Absolute Realities in life so that we may prevent the up coming generations from suffering.

Love, Truth, Relationship, Purity, Holiness n’ Restoration are few things in life about which I’m passionate about. And i believe for any human being, deep within, these are the longings of the heart. When it comes to relationship, one of the things which we look forward to is that unique, exclusive, passionate, intimate, experience of sexual pleasure. We hardly find a couple who is not looking forward to this. And if they are not looking forward to it, well, they got issues. This is the gift in the box.

When you go to the mart to get a product, especially Electrical, Electronic or mechanical, we see a tape/sticker with a bold font “Don’t accept if the seal is broken”  or “If Seal is BrokenCheck Contents Before Accepting“. This tape/seal guarantees the quality of the product and it says that the product have not been tampered with. We find it secure and confident to go ahead and purchase the product. If the seal is broken, first of all, you would not find comfortable to proceed with the purchase because of the insecurity it creates in our mind. Ignorance to this detail, could lead to a number or problems, starting with getting a non-returnable damaged product’. I think you are smart enough to  narrow down to what i am coming to. However, let me take the extra step of detailing my thoughts.

Now, what I’m sharing here is not only restricted to sexuality, but also to emotions and mind. I’ve heard from my friends telling me that “I’ve been used by him/her”. In fact, I’d hurt a girl in the past, emotionally, and she had told me that “i feel used”. We both were in our vulnerable times. Then later, i got back to her with the help of another lady friend and spoke  to her, and my other friend by God’s help was able to help her out, and we now have a healthy friendly relationship. I’ve friends who have been abused in her childhood and who have been cheated by someone who once affirmed Love by words and sex but not by commitment. Later he married someone else. Later she found herself vulnerable to be in sexual intercourse with other men. We look around to find stories after stories in the similar lines.

The Best Gift, one can give to his/her partner is a self that is not tampered with. It’s more like receiving a sealed package with bill (evidence of commitment to the purchase). In her young age (late teens to 20’s), a woman would be at her peak of seeking for emotional fulfillment and
satisfaction, while for men, the sexual pleasure. In the pursuit of meeting up according to feelings, we end up in unhealthy risks of sexual and emotional involvement, in which over 90% of the relationships ends up in breakup after the involvement. This is because the foundation of the relationship was based on something that was shaky, “Emotions n’ Feelings”. They are never stable. And these breakups are usually, very painful, depressing, tormenting, devastating, and very destructive. Entering into a sexual relationship outside the covenant of marriage would be equivalent to buying a product without the bill. No proof, no security, risking life, no Love, but just feelings.

I’ve come to a conclusion that one who involves himself/herself in multiple sexual relationships is in an even worse condition than that of the people who end up in the Red light streets. At least, the women in the red light area realizes that their body has a value, while others do it, ignoring or nullifying the dignity, value, and significance of his/her body. Am i saying that prostitution is right? Absolutely not. I just took the other side of prostitution.

In the expression of feelings, surge of emotions, and pleasure of sex, outside marriage, we forget or ignore one important matter, The Next Generation. In Article: Love in Relationship, I’ve written something related to this. The child born outside of marriage (wedlock), is introduced to an insecure, broken, unsafe, isolated environment where there is the least expectancy for love, affirmation and acceptance, and the child grows up to be with the fundamental requirements such as Love, Acceptance, Affirmation, Identity, and Freedom missing in his/her life. As he/she grows up to be a man/woman, he/she looks outside the house for what he/she is lacking, and so being vulnerable no unlike his/her parents, and everything is back to square one. You can break this cycle if your family is caught up in this.

Talking about all these this, I’m no alien to these feelings. Many youngsters deal with it well with the help of their parents, and because of their upbringing. While  majority of the youngsters come from unstable, peaceless family environment. They look for comfort outside the family and tries to find satisfaction in opposite sex. I’m also from a broken family environment. It was hard for me. I wanted to be in a relationship real bad, and all crumbled down followed by disappointments, discouragements, frustrations, worries, sleepless nights, and a weak heart. It’s been 2-3 years now since my life started taking a turn towards restoration. Today, I stand to speak of what i went through which is the evidence of the restoration and healing in my life.

One of the Expressions of love is to wait and keep the purity of our body for that special person Within a Committed relationship. It could be a struggle in the beginning. But once we realize that the waiting is worth it, we will not compromise our purity no matter what. That’s what Love is all about. Do not be discouraged even if you have taken wrong turns in your life. Because there is always a turning back and healing and restoration.

One of the missions of my life is Restoration, which means THE BEST IS YET TO COME, provided we make the right choices. No matter how messed your life is, there is a way to restore it. I would suggest you to go through the article: Love in Relationship when you have time.

In My life, the Ultimate source of Restoration of my broken life is Jesus Christ. Introducing Him to you is the Best gift I can ever give you, out of Love

God Bless You

Love

 George, Ashrit Mathew

3. Motive behind the proposal…

“Intent, in the pursuit of truth, is prior to content, or to the availability of it. The love of truth and the willingness to submit to its demands is the first step.”-Ravi Zacharias.

In this article, my heart is that you would reason and ask yourself the questions. So I’m not here to give the answers as there are very personal and subjective.

Before getting into my thoughts, my heart pains and pushes my mind to recall my personal experiences, and stories of experiences of broken relationships and disappointments in marriages.  It is really painful yet interesting look into our own heart and ask myself  “WHY am i in this relationship, in the first place ?!” Of course, this is a very personal question. Another way of putting the same question would be “Why do i love her/him ?”. This might sound as rude as it is when we are in overwhelming emotions of the attraction to the other person. Few of my friends shared with me their stories and difficulties. And i discussed with them on the lines of the same question. I see it time and time again that, when one is already emotionally involved in an attraction/relationship, it is a battle for him/her to reason out this question. I’ve battled it. It was difficult. But there was a time i had to tell my heart “NO !” and give my mind its presence, for I was convinced of what i was about to do. So i see again the humility that difficult relational tensions impose on people, recommending them to ‘shut-up and listen’.

I  have heard recently a statement “Love is Blind, and Marriage is the Eye Opener”. As humorous as it may sound, it is a sad tragic fact from the pages of history to the very hour in which we are living. However, I disagree on the first part of the statement:”LOVE is Blind”. We as youngsters many times replace ‘Emotion’ with ‘Love’. If it is said “Emotions  are Blind, and Marriage is the Eye Opener”, i would more agree with the statement. Because as I mentioned before, in the weight of emotions we kick reason through the backdoor, not realizing that it’s wisdom which is on its way out.

My thoughts actually points out to few of my thoughts which i have already shared in my previous posts( Link1 , Link2 , Link3 ). Why is the reason that i would like to be in relationship ?!  And if I’m already in a relationship, “what do i like about her/him ?”

As I’m a guy, let me share thoughts from my eye view. As frank as i can be, Beauty n’ appearance is one of the main things that appeals to guys, which in turn moves to a sexual motive. But many times we make the mistake of grasping the face and missing the heart. I was emotionally involved with a girl who was beautiful in appearance. It was not only her appearance that attracted me to her, but also a desperate need from within for love and acceptance, and to someone to talk to. It took time for me to realize that there was much more to it. Midst the struggle of trying to maintain a stable relationship with her, few things caught my eye which caused me to rethink about whatever was going on. I came to realize that heart matters much more than the appearance of her. The manifestation of what was in her heart even through her simple gestures were not desirable nor attractive, at-least to me. During this time, God stepped into my life, filling my desperate need for love and acceptance through the person of Jesus Christ. As i was out of that emotional stranglehold, the grasses were much greener and i could see the pros and cons of that relationship. I’m not saying here that she was bad for I’m not a judge, but it was a revelation that we would never get along together well in the long run. Maybe she had a need to be fulfilled too. Maybe she was having in her own life struggles.

Currently, I’m growing in my relationship with God. I’m seeking more of Him so that when it’s time, I have more to share with my partner than to take/grab from her out of desperation. My heart that we would look at the Presence of God, beauty of the heart and appearance, yet the presence of mind, and the Wisdom of the elders as the starting point of a life together as man n’ woman, husband n’ wife.

Dear reader,


If you are a follower of Christ Jesus, I’d like to share a few more thoughts. If you are in desperation to be in a relationship with someone, I’d encourage you to look into your own life, your own heart. See what is missing. What is the cause of the desperation ? Is it some area in which you have not allowed Jesus to work in your life? Are you feeling empty ? Do you need
help ?! A partner can satisfy your needs only for a short time, if he/she too in desperation.  Is it what you want from your life ? But that’s Not what Jesus has called you for. Through Jesus you are the son of the Living God, through adoption (Eph 1), which makes God your Father. Ask Him, and He can and will fill you. Have a walk with God. Drink from Him. Live and Out of Him. Doesn’t matter how far you feel you are away from God. That’s the whole point. He is right there to meet you where you are. It’s just a matter of a turn, a U- Turn.

Regards

George, Ashrit Mathew

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