There is always a Choice to Turn Back towards Restoration…

Posts tagged ‘grace’

5. Declaration of The Commitment

“A man who won’t die for something is not fit to live” –  Martin Luther King, Jr.

Wedding_rings

It takes me back to times when I was searching for love, or someone whom I can relate with intimately, till I found the common solution for both the seeks.  As I approached different girls attracted by their beauty, or may be lust in my heart, I was rejected and all attempts failed over and over again. I was foolish. I didn’t even know what I was looking for, ‘Love’ ? If you had asked me at that time, “what is love ?”, I’m not sure if I was in a position to answer that then. If God had not intervened in time, I would have hurt a lots more women, and might have ended up violating them.trapped_in_the_world_of_Kafka_by_tape

There was a time I was emotionally involved with this woman in another country whom I shall leave unnamed. She was beautiful, emotionally sensitive, a simple girl, a broken family, father, a drinker. Whenever I approached her, she made excuses to not to relate with me, and told how unrealistic the relationship would be as both the countries are afar. But cleverly did I give her the calculations of the money involved in the conveyance, and showy I trapped her in, after which we skyped and had regular conversations. I knew I was doing something wrong, and I violated many values which I thought I’d never violate. I was in desperation of love, or what was it anyway? I was just going on the weight of emotions.

One fine Friday, she came on my messenger and told me those golden words “I love You”, to which I responded “What do you mean ?”. I’d no clue what was happening. My mind totally went blank. So after all these years, what I went after is something that I didn’t understand ? That day, I closed the conversation without a response and totally blank, and she, helpless. The next day, during a prayer meeting, I heard the voice “NO”, and I was clear it was about this relationship which I started on the wrong foundation, which was on emotions, evil, lust and lies. Then I said to myself “If it is from GOD, I will obey. Even if it’s not from GOD, I will obey it as if GOD’s will, He will bring it back.” And in half an hour the whole thing was dissolved. Of course she couldn’t handle it, and I as normal guys, I didn’t know what I just did or how to handle or didn’t care much about the girl. As the rest of what I did concerning that is irrelevant to this article, I’m leaving that out. This I’d say that, I asked her apology, and connected her with one of the matured married Christian lady friends in that country and encouraged her to be in touch. Now as I look back, I see that small obedience to the voice which I heard, was the beginning of a change in my life, forever. It was after this that I started my first blog on relationships.

We youngsters are and having been craving for love, many times not realizing what we are craving for. Love is nothing but a word, if there is no commitment. I’ve heard it, time and time again from people who are in relationship, the answer to my question “When are you getting married?” or “Are you sure that he/she is going to marry you ?”. The response was either negative or gray.

A promise must never be broken – Alexander Hamilton

Through the Word of GOD, and my experiences, I started to understanding the real meaning of Love. Love is not just a word, not just a feeling, not just an expression, but a commitment to continuous expression of interest and in intimacy life long , and to never let go, even if the sky falls down. The moment you and I say that “I am in love with you”, or “I love you”, you are entering and committing  to a relationship which is everlasting, else we are just playing with words & lying to self and others.

love-decision-commitmentUnfortunately, many don’t know this as this has not been received or experienced from their parents and the even parents might not have received this love. For this revelation only comes from GOD through the Bible. The moment you and I understand and experience the Committed, Never ending, Unconditional, Experiential, Never Failing, Resurrecting, and Restoring Love, we are revealed of a greater depth of understanding of what it means to Love others.

True Love casts out fear for True love expels the darkness. Many people say, “we both are in love, and it’s not required to get married. we can live together. ” Sadly, what they are actually saying is that “We want to keep our options open, We are  not sure if tomorrow’s mood and desire allows to like to like this man/woman. ” The naked truth is that, both wants to use each other for their own selfish pleasures and desires, nothing to do with Love.  If you are claiming to be in love, test your love and ‘tie the knot’. Don’t beat around the bush. And all this, do it in the presence of your people, so that there is no way out of it, no matter what, but there is help and advice when you need, in taking forward the relationship. That is committed True Love.

To man : If you claim to be in Love with a woman, show that you are man enough to hold her hand and with the assistance of your Old man, ask her parents for her hand. If they don’t allow, that’s a different story. We might talk about that later. But if you think you need more time for a commitment, then wait, respect the lady, respect her body, and for heaven sake don’t abuse her. You prove that you are a man by loving, respecting and protecting the lady you love. Don’t be a Chicken !!
 
To woman : If some guy claims that he is in love with you, don’t fall for it. Know who you are. Don’t let him take your emotions for granted. Draw the boundaries. If he is crossing the boundaries, believe me when I tell you this, ‘he will never respect you and your opinion for the rest of your lives’. Don’t let him touch your body before he declares in front of his parents/elders/mentors that you are his girl forever, and the ‘knot is tied’ & the ‘ring is exchanged’.  
 

Now, many of you think all that I’ve said is impossible unless a miracle happens. Then the rest of the article is for you and especially if you are a true follower of Jesus Christ.commitment1

The reason the Son of GOD, Jesus came to this earth as human, and died is because He loved us, He wanted to save us from sin.  In other words, GOD not only claimed that He loved us, He expressed it through Jesus Christ, His only Son. Jesus rose again on the third day, so that we will have a life and hope again. GOD in Himself is Love. GOD in Himself is expression of that Love, through action. And He wishes to ravished that love on us, and in us. Once you start receiving His Love, through the Word He has given us, you will see a whole new dimension to the Word LOVE. Further more, Jesus expects and commands you to love your partner like His love for us; unchanging, unconditional, committed, earth-shaking, history making, and even life-giving.

We now a days, we despise  and reject the counsel of the elders/mentors, and finally we end up in a real bad state. What I would suggest you is that, IF YOU KNOW, BELIEVE, and SEE that your mentor/elder is having a close walk with Jesus Christ or if they know who you are and if you have the freedom to be transparent with them, then share it with him/her, share your desire before presenting it to the man or woman, and take counsel. But before anything PRAY. None knows the future and the other person better that GOD Himself, who holds the time in His hands, and who know who is who, and how is who.

“You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist” – Indira Gandhi

May God Bless You !!
George
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4. The Unopened Gift Box

I’d like to share my thoughts on this topic. What I share could either offend you or change your life, depending on your heart’s condition. But no matter what, The Truth does not bend itself to satisfy the emotional contentment or personal feelings. In these days relativistic and post-modern philosophy, its high time that we raise our voices and stand for Absolute Truth and Absolute Realities in life so that we may prevent the up coming generations from suffering.

Love, Truth, Relationship, Purity, Holiness n’ Restoration are few things in life about which I’m passionate about. And i believe for any human being, deep within, these are the longings of the heart. When it comes to relationship, one of the things which we look forward to is that unique, exclusive, passionate, intimate, experience of sexual pleasure. We hardly find a couple who is not looking forward to this. And if they are not looking forward to it, well, they got issues. This is the gift in the box.

When you go to the mart to get a product, especially Electrical, Electronic or mechanical, we see a tape/sticker with a bold font “Don’t accept if the seal is broken”  or “If Seal is BrokenCheck Contents Before Accepting“. This tape/seal guarantees the quality of the product and it says that the product have not been tampered with. We find it secure and confident to go ahead and purchase the product. If the seal is broken, first of all, you would not find comfortable to proceed with the purchase because of the insecurity it creates in our mind. Ignorance to this detail, could lead to a number or problems, starting with getting a non-returnable damaged product’. I think you are smart enough to  narrow down to what i am coming to. However, let me take the extra step of detailing my thoughts.

Now, what I’m sharing here is not only restricted to sexuality, but also to emotions and mind. I’ve heard from my friends telling me that “I’ve been used by him/her”. In fact, I’d hurt a girl in the past, emotionally, and she had told me that “i feel used”. We both were in our vulnerable times. Then later, i got back to her with the help of another lady friend and spoke  to her, and my other friend by God’s help was able to help her out, and we now have a healthy friendly relationship. I’ve friends who have been abused in her childhood and who have been cheated by someone who once affirmed Love by words and sex but not by commitment. Later he married someone else. Later she found herself vulnerable to be in sexual intercourse with other men. We look around to find stories after stories in the similar lines.

The Best Gift, one can give to his/her partner is a self that is not tampered with. It’s more like receiving a sealed package with bill (evidence of commitment to the purchase). In her young age (late teens to 20’s), a woman would be at her peak of seeking for emotional fulfillment and
satisfaction, while for men, the sexual pleasure. In the pursuit of meeting up according to feelings, we end up in unhealthy risks of sexual and emotional involvement, in which over 90% of the relationships ends up in breakup after the involvement. This is because the foundation of the relationship was based on something that was shaky, “Emotions n’ Feelings”. They are never stable. And these breakups are usually, very painful, depressing, tormenting, devastating, and very destructive. Entering into a sexual relationship outside the covenant of marriage would be equivalent to buying a product without the bill. No proof, no security, risking life, no Love, but just feelings.

I’ve come to a conclusion that one who involves himself/herself in multiple sexual relationships is in an even worse condition than that of the people who end up in the Red light streets. At least, the women in the red light area realizes that their body has a value, while others do it, ignoring or nullifying the dignity, value, and significance of his/her body. Am i saying that prostitution is right? Absolutely not. I just took the other side of prostitution.

In the expression of feelings, surge of emotions, and pleasure of sex, outside marriage, we forget or ignore one important matter, The Next Generation. In Article: Love in Relationship, I’ve written something related to this. The child born outside of marriage (wedlock), is introduced to an insecure, broken, unsafe, isolated environment where there is the least expectancy for love, affirmation and acceptance, and the child grows up to be with the fundamental requirements such as Love, Acceptance, Affirmation, Identity, and Freedom missing in his/her life. As he/she grows up to be a man/woman, he/she looks outside the house for what he/she is lacking, and so being vulnerable no unlike his/her parents, and everything is back to square one. You can break this cycle if your family is caught up in this.

Talking about all these this, I’m no alien to these feelings. Many youngsters deal with it well with the help of their parents, and because of their upbringing. While  majority of the youngsters come from unstable, peaceless family environment. They look for comfort outside the family and tries to find satisfaction in opposite sex. I’m also from a broken family environment. It was hard for me. I wanted to be in a relationship real bad, and all crumbled down followed by disappointments, discouragements, frustrations, worries, sleepless nights, and a weak heart. It’s been 2-3 years now since my life started taking a turn towards restoration. Today, I stand to speak of what i went through which is the evidence of the restoration and healing in my life.

One of the Expressions of love is to wait and keep the purity of our body for that special person Within a Committed relationship. It could be a struggle in the beginning. But once we realize that the waiting is worth it, we will not compromise our purity no matter what. That’s what Love is all about. Do not be discouraged even if you have taken wrong turns in your life. Because there is always a turning back and healing and restoration.

One of the missions of my life is Restoration, which means THE BEST IS YET TO COME, provided we make the right choices. No matter how messed your life is, there is a way to restore it. I would suggest you to go through the article: Love in Relationship when you have time.

In My life, the Ultimate source of Restoration of my broken life is Jesus Christ. Introducing Him to you is the Best gift I can ever give you, out of Love

God Bless You

Love

 George, Ashrit Mathew

2. The Race in the Same Direction…

Do Not be Unequally Yoked

Says a manuscript written centuries ago. I wonder how many of us understand what this means. I feel that a village life would speak about this than our urban lives. They live mainly on agriculture or something very much related to nature. Let’s take a walk through the paddy fields of South India.

As we walk on the path made between the paddy fields, we notice that farmer, full of dirt on his body, wear just a cloth to cover his dignity, is trying to till the field with two bulls and the plough. We see that both the bulls are connected and steered together with the help of the plough. The part of wood which will be fixed on the bull would be yoke.  In this technique, it is very necessary that both bulls are equally sized. If unequal, the steering of the bulls become difficult, and the plough wouldn’t go in the  desired direction. It would also cause discomfort for the bulls.

This one of the most important matters in relationships which we ignore/miss when we enter into an emotional bondage of relationship calling it “in love”. Mainly because of this, many of the relationships ends up breaking up or in disappointment or frustration. To those who are not sure what I’m talking about, let me try to explain.

Each and every person is unique, special, precious, and different in their gifts and abilities. None can actually say that one is better than others, because everyone is an expert in their own gifting and specialties. All these unique gifts adds flavor to our passions and desires of what we would like to do in our lives. And God adds meaning to it all.

Let me tell you about my desires so that you might understand and be encouraged. From the time when I was a kid, I loved music and I used to sing, but even sweeter than now :).I loved playing with electronic devices and components too. Since my teens, I started having passion towards computers, and now into Philosophy, Art, and Theology. Still I have the passions and desires as mentioned above. So the work I’m doing right now and the things that I do, even this very article is pleasure and a joy for me, because it all out of my own desires. Thank God for my mother who is an encourager and who gave me the freedom to pursue my legitimate passions and desires.

If I start being in relationship with a lady who has nothing to do with my desires or my convictions, the obvious result would be: Either of us might compromise/suppress their desire for others ending up in a hidden suffocation, or it could lead to selfish pursuit of own desires/dreams in opposite/different directions ending up in a broken family/distant relationship, or it would cause high friction between us leading to disappointment, uneasiness, frustration, blaming, judging and finally breaking up.

I’m not going to tell you what girl am I looking for. 🙂 That is not the intent of this content.

It is true that none will have same exact gifts, but if both knows the meaning life, and if both have a common destiny and purpose, things could be more easier, merrier and better. If two people are running towards the same goal in the same direction, in their own flavor, both could help and encourage each other to move on.

Dear reader, if you are a follower of Christ Jesus, and if you have a desires to to more of Him, this article would make more sense to you than any other person from a different  worldview/religion. The moment you allow Jesus into your heart, what Jesus gives you is a fresh, new perspective of life itself. He defines it so clearly that you will stand in awe. What Jesus give you is not just an Eternal Perspective of things, but also the authority in His name to do greater things than anyone who doesn’t know Him. When God says not to be yoked with an unbeliever, He means it for our good and to preserve holiness in our life. A partner who doesn’t know Jesus can destroy all the plans what God has for you in this life. He/she can take you away from Jesus too. If you are in such a relationship, trust God and break it and throw it away. Never look back. I know it could difficult. Because I’ve been through it and I’ve done it by God’s grace. Let God bring people together by His Guidance, not by our Mistakes. If you need to speak to me, you could let me know. But if you are committed and married out of ignorance, never loose hope, God is a God who forgives and restores. Hold on to Him. He will help you out.

1. Truth with Grace

This post could be a bit heavy for some of you, but I would request you to take time to read it carefully and try to understand what it’s all about as it is extremely important to make the connection between love and truth. Truth is something which we have forgotten about, because of which we are where we are, almost at the verge of self-destruction of the entire human race. This could save you from the trouble. And by the way, “To all the sick lovers who lick the carpet for your girlfriends, “Grow up”- unknown”

Let me start with the Quote from approx. 2000 years ago said by a person called Jesus.

“Everyone on the side of truth listens to me”

I won’t tell you the same thing for I’m not Him nor am I worthy to be in His shoes nor worthy even to untie His sandal strap. But there is something important in this statement.

People who are only in the side of the truth listen to it. One who hates the truth does not have love in him. One who says that he loves, but no truth has no love at allAnd finally, one who has no love tries to destroy the truth, or anything/anyone that is claimed to be true. But truth does not depend on the mood of the day, or from which side of the bed you woke up, or even on the black cat that crossed the road when you got out of your house. Whether you are drunk or frustrated or even dead, the sun still rises in the east and sets in the west.

Many of the things that I am going to share here and in the coming posts are not much on the weight of emotions, even though emotions have a role in Love and relationship. It could be a bit rigid and firm but with a beauty of itself.

 There are many things that we do in our young days when our blood is hot and running wild. And there are many things of which we are not that proud off to be talked about in the public. Especially to do with sex, drugs, alcohol, or sometimes even smoking. We men enter into relationship and use women for their selfish gain and please our sexual drive. It could go from women’s magazines, pornographic, movies, chats, and even to the extent of intercourse. I know of my friend in my college who said was in love with one of my dear friend whom I considered my little sister. Well, soon after the college, the boy went his way breaking her innocent simple heart. Girls could get into relationship and so emotionally involved that finally, they would compromise their virginity in the surge of emotions and what to them looked like feeling of love till later. No sooner will the man does his thing, he shakes the dust of his shirt, and vanish from her life forever. One of my friends is a victim of such injustice. The life which she lives is hard, and she finds it difficult to move on. Adding to all these are many other family issues, emotional issues, and even mental/psychological issues. Finally, when we like a girl, we present our best before her, hiding all these under the carpet so that our image is not spoiled, and we will not lose the girl or the boy. The true life is no more in the air, but under a mask that fakes everything.

Truth will not bend or break, but can only be hidden. But here is the interesting thing about truth. Truth and History are always in love. They are so close to each other. History brings the truth out into light anyway. No matter how hard we try to hide things, it will all come to light one day, but that day would be more painful and destructive. If you testify and confess the truth yourself, it is well and good. It stays private and you will feel secure and not much people will know. And even if they know, at least they know that you are not faking yourself, which would gain you respect and honor. But if you allow the history to do it for you, it is more of an effect of you being forced to walk on the street full of people, completely naked or like history given a microphone and a loud speaker.

Here is the point. If the man is truthful, it is well and good for him. He doesn’t have to worry about a thing. He is respected and History shouts his fame across the pages. But when a man hides issues or certain truths, he better be very careful. History reveals the truth; it will be like a fish torn stuck in his throat for his entire life. It eats him up. Something similar happened to the Satyam system’s Ramalinga Raju and he finally he said “It was like riding a tiger, not knowing how to get off without being eaten.”. If you don’t know about the story, to read about it later, click here.

Lack a truth was never the issue. It was our hatred towards it because of our pride. Truth makes us Transparent and we feel weak. We feel we will be destroyed if we speak the truth. But here is the truth about the truth. Being truthful is amazing. It is glorious display courage when truth triumphs by your choice. It shows how strong you are from the inside. The more truthful you are, the less vulnerable you are to the voices against you. Bring truthful brings that being of selflessness. It humbles you. It keeps you safe and sound for the future. It gives you respect and honor. The ultimate result of being truthful and being on the side of truth is Freedom. Know the truth and ‘the truth’ shall set you free. 

Many of you must be thinking, “If I tell her/him the truth, “that will be it”. The relationship will be over”. I understand and respect that feeling, but the fact is this that it will happen anyway, and the truth will be out anyway, the question remains how and when you would like the truth to be revealed. The sooner, better it is for you and the other person. If your partner/would-be is leaving you for you being truthful, the relationship is not worth it. If he/she leaves you, you must enjoy, because you have better opportunity than the other person. One, who can’t stand truth, has no love either.

The reason why I mentioned about the mistakes/issue which we make and go through are not to condemn anyone, nor to judge what is right and what is wrong, even though objective morality exists, but to help you relax and let you know that these are real issues and nobody is an exception for such things in life. The only difference is in the degree to which we do what we  choose to do. There are ways in which we avoid these issues too, but as it is will divert from the topic, we won’t be discussing it here. I too have struggles and face difficulties. The interesting thing is that the other person, in my case a girl, will also have a story of her own to tell, about her difficulties, weakness, and mistakes. At that point, what I do with it is very important.

Truth as it is can many times be very destructive and offensive, as it is the character of the truth that it is exclusive and it disagrees with everything else but itself, without any compromise or feeling. Here is when grace makes the entry to the stage. Grace in expression is to relate with the person no matter who, to understand with patience no matter how long, to forgive no matter what, and to be with the person through it all no matter how. So when my would be (not girlfriend) of whom I know nothing about as of now, shares with me about her life, I better show her some respect and give her the grace to listen to her as she is showing immense about courage to tell the truth trusting me and hoping that I would be with her. So would be better for both of us, for her to respond the same way when I speak the truth about my life.

Dear reader, if you are a follower of Christ Jesus, you have the opportunity to get connected directly with the grace of the Only Living Working God. If you allow Jesus to transform you, you will be truthful in everything you do when you walk with Him and He transforms your heart from within. As I mentioned, being truthful shows the condition of the heart and how strong you are inside. Since Jesus is in your heart, you will be the strongest to proclaim the truth. And showing grace would be a piece of cake as Jesus is not just Truth in Person, but also Love in Person. Hold on tight, wait for more…

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