I’d like to share my thoughts on this topic. What I share could either offend you or change your life, depending on your heart’s condition. But no matter what, The Truth does not bend itself to satisfy the emotional contentment or personal feelings. In these days relativistic and post-modern philosophy, its high time that we raise our voices and stand for Absolute Truth and Absolute Realities in life so that we may prevent the up coming generations from suffering.
Love, Truth, Relationship, Purity, Holiness n’ Restoration are few things in life about which I’m passionate about. And i believe for any human being, deep within, these are the longings of the heart. When it comes to relationship, one of the things which we look forward to is that unique, exclusive, passionate, intimate, experience of sexual pleasure. We hardly find a couple who is not looking forward to this. And if they are not looking forward to it, well, they got issues. This is the gift in the box.
When you go to the mart to get a product, especially Electrical, Electronic or mechanical, we see a tape/sticker with a bold font “Don’t accept if the seal is broken” or “If Seal is Broken, Check Contents Before Accepting“. This tape/seal guarantees the quality of the product and it says that the product have not been tampered with. We find it secure and confident to go ahead and purchase the product. If the seal is broken, first of all, you would not find comfortable to proceed with the purchase because of the insecurity it creates in our mind. Ignorance to this detail, could lead to a number or problems, starting with ‘getting a non-returnable damaged product’. I think you are smart enough to narrow down to what i am coming to. However, let me take the extra step of detailing my thoughts.
Now, what I’m sharing here is not only restricted to sexuality, but also to emotions and mind. I’ve heard from my friends telling me that “I’ve been used by him/her”. In fact, I’d hurt a girl in the past, emotionally, and she had told me that “i feel used”. We both were in our vulnerable times. Then later, i got back to her with the help of another lady friend and spoke to her, and my other friend by God’s help was able to help her out, and we now have a healthy friendly relationship. I’ve friends who have been abused in her childhood and who have been cheated by someone who once affirmed Love by words and sex but not by commitment. Later he married someone else. Later she found herself vulnerable to be in sexual intercourse with other men. We look around to find stories after stories in the similar lines.
The Best Gift, one can give to his/her partner is a self that is not tampered with. It’s more like receiving a sealed package with bill (evidence of commitment to the purchase). In her young age (late teens to 20’s), a woman would be at her peak of seeking for emotional fulfillment and
satisfaction, while for men, the sexual pleasure. In the pursuit of meeting up according to feelings, we end up in unhealthy risks of sexual and emotional involvement, in which over 90% of the relationships ends up in breakup after the involvement. This is because the foundation of the relationship was based on something that was shaky, “Emotions n’ Feelings”. They are never stable. And these breakups are usually, very painful, depressing, tormenting, devastating, and very destructive. Entering into a sexual relationship outside the covenant of marriage would be equivalent to buying a product without the bill. No proof, no security, risking life, no Love, but just feelings.
I’ve come to a conclusion that one who involves himself/herself in multiple sexual relationships is in an even worse condition than that of the people who end up in the Red light streets. At least, the women in the red light area realizes that their body has a value, while others do it, ignoring or nullifying the dignity, value, and significance of his/her body. Am i saying that prostitution is right? Absolutely not. I just took the other side of prostitution.
In the expression of feelings, surge of emotions, and pleasure of sex, outside marriage, we forget or ignore one important matter, The Next Generation. In Article: Love in Relationship, I’ve written something related to this. The child born outside of marriage (wedlock), is introduced to an insecure, broken, unsafe, isolated environment where there is the least expectancy for love, affirmation and acceptance, and the child grows up to be with the fundamental requirements such as Love, Acceptance, Affirmation, Identity, and Freedom missing in his/her life. As he/she grows up to be a man/woman, he/she looks outside the house for what he/she is lacking, and so being vulnerable no unlike his/her parents, and everything is back to square one. You can break this cycle if your family is caught up in this.
Talking about all these this, I’m no alien to these feelings. Many youngsters deal with it well with the help of their parents, and because of their upbringing. While majority of the youngsters come from unstable, peaceless family environment. They look for comfort outside the family and tries to find satisfaction in opposite sex. I’m also from a broken family environment. It was hard for me. I wanted to be in a relationship real bad, and all crumbled down followed by disappointments, discouragements, frustrations, worries, sleepless nights, and a weak heart. It’s been 2-3 years now since my life started taking a turn towards restoration. Today, I stand to speak of what i went through which is the evidence of the restoration and healing in my life.
One of the Expressions of love is to wait and keep the purity of our body for that special person Within a Committed relationship. It could be a struggle in the beginning. But once we realize that the waiting is worth it, we will not compromise our purity no matter what. That’s what Love is all about. Do not be discouraged even if you have taken wrong turns in your life. Because there is always a turning back and healing and restoration.
One of the missions of my life is Restoration, which means THE BEST IS YET TO COME, provided we make the right choices. No matter how messed your life is, there is a way to restore it. I would suggest you to go through the article: Love in Relationship when you have time.
In My life, the Ultimate source of Restoration of my broken life is Jesus Christ. Introducing Him to you is the Best gift I can ever give you, out of Love
God Bless You
George, Ashrit Mathew