There is always a Choice to Turn Back towards Restoration…

Archive for September, 2012

4. The Unopened Gift Box

I’d like to share my thoughts on this topic. What I share could either offend you or change your life, depending on your heart’s condition. But no matter what, The Truth does not bend itself to satisfy the emotional contentment or personal feelings. In these days relativistic and post-modern philosophy, its high time that we raise our voices and stand for Absolute Truth and Absolute Realities in life so that we may prevent the up coming generations from suffering.

Love, Truth, Relationship, Purity, Holiness n’ Restoration are few things in life about which I’m passionate about. And i believe for any human being, deep within, these are the longings of the heart. When it comes to relationship, one of the things which we look forward to is that unique, exclusive, passionate, intimate, experience of sexual pleasure. We hardly find a couple who is not looking forward to this. And if they are not looking forward to it, well, they got issues. This is the gift in the box.

When you go to the mart to get a product, especially Electrical, Electronic or mechanical, we see a tape/sticker with a bold font “Don’t accept if the seal is broken”  or “If Seal is BrokenCheck Contents Before Accepting“. This tape/seal guarantees the quality of the product and it says that the product have not been tampered with. We find it secure and confident to go ahead and purchase the product. If the seal is broken, first of all, you would not find comfortable to proceed with the purchase because of the insecurity it creates in our mind. Ignorance to this detail, could lead to a number or problems, starting with getting a non-returnable damaged product’. I think you are smart enough to  narrow down to what i am coming to. However, let me take the extra step of detailing my thoughts.

Now, what I’m sharing here is not only restricted to sexuality, but also to emotions and mind. I’ve heard from my friends telling me that “I’ve been used by him/her”. In fact, I’d hurt a girl in the past, emotionally, and she had told me that “i feel used”. We both were in our vulnerable times. Then later, i got back to her with the help of another lady friend and spoke  to her, and my other friend by God’s help was able to help her out, and we now have a healthy friendly relationship. I’ve friends who have been abused in her childhood and who have been cheated by someone who once affirmed Love by words and sex but not by commitment. Later he married someone else. Later she found herself vulnerable to be in sexual intercourse with other men. We look around to find stories after stories in the similar lines.

The Best Gift, one can give to his/her partner is a self that is not tampered with. It’s more like receiving a sealed package with bill (evidence of commitment to the purchase). In her young age (late teens to 20’s), a woman would be at her peak of seeking for emotional fulfillment and
satisfaction, while for men, the sexual pleasure. In the pursuit of meeting up according to feelings, we end up in unhealthy risks of sexual and emotional involvement, in which over 90% of the relationships ends up in breakup after the involvement. This is because the foundation of the relationship was based on something that was shaky, “Emotions n’ Feelings”. They are never stable. And these breakups are usually, very painful, depressing, tormenting, devastating, and very destructive. Entering into a sexual relationship outside the covenant of marriage would be equivalent to buying a product without the bill. No proof, no security, risking life, no Love, but just feelings.

I’ve come to a conclusion that one who involves himself/herself in multiple sexual relationships is in an even worse condition than that of the people who end up in the Red light streets. At least, the women in the red light area realizes that their body has a value, while others do it, ignoring or nullifying the dignity, value, and significance of his/her body. Am i saying that prostitution is right? Absolutely not. I just took the other side of prostitution.

In the expression of feelings, surge of emotions, and pleasure of sex, outside marriage, we forget or ignore one important matter, The Next Generation. In Article: Love in Relationship, I’ve written something related to this. The child born outside of marriage (wedlock), is introduced to an insecure, broken, unsafe, isolated environment where there is the least expectancy for love, affirmation and acceptance, and the child grows up to be with the fundamental requirements such as Love, Acceptance, Affirmation, Identity, and Freedom missing in his/her life. As he/she grows up to be a man/woman, he/she looks outside the house for what he/she is lacking, and so being vulnerable no unlike his/her parents, and everything is back to square one. You can break this cycle if your family is caught up in this.

Talking about all these this, I’m no alien to these feelings. Many youngsters deal with it well with the help of their parents, and because of their upbringing. While  majority of the youngsters come from unstable, peaceless family environment. They look for comfort outside the family and tries to find satisfaction in opposite sex. I’m also from a broken family environment. It was hard for me. I wanted to be in a relationship real bad, and all crumbled down followed by disappointments, discouragements, frustrations, worries, sleepless nights, and a weak heart. It’s been 2-3 years now since my life started taking a turn towards restoration. Today, I stand to speak of what i went through which is the evidence of the restoration and healing in my life.

One of the Expressions of love is to wait and keep the purity of our body for that special person Within a Committed relationship. It could be a struggle in the beginning. But once we realize that the waiting is worth it, we will not compromise our purity no matter what. That’s what Love is all about. Do not be discouraged even if you have taken wrong turns in your life. Because there is always a turning back and healing and restoration.

One of the missions of my life is Restoration, which means THE BEST IS YET TO COME, provided we make the right choices. No matter how messed your life is, there is a way to restore it. I would suggest you to go through the article: Love in Relationship when you have time.

In My life, the Ultimate source of Restoration of my broken life is Jesus Christ. Introducing Him to you is the Best gift I can ever give you, out of Love

God Bless You

Love

 George, Ashrit Mathew

Advertisements

3. Motive behind the proposal…

“Intent, in the pursuit of truth, is prior to content, or to the availability of it. The love of truth and the willingness to submit to its demands is the first step.”-Ravi Zacharias.

In this article, my heart is that you would reason and ask yourself the questions. So I’m not here to give the answers as there are very personal and subjective.

Before getting into my thoughts, my heart pains and pushes my mind to recall my personal experiences, and stories of experiences of broken relationships and disappointments in marriages.  It is really painful yet interesting look into our own heart and ask myself  “WHY am i in this relationship, in the first place ?!” Of course, this is a very personal question. Another way of putting the same question would be “Why do i love her/him ?”. This might sound as rude as it is when we are in overwhelming emotions of the attraction to the other person. Few of my friends shared with me their stories and difficulties. And i discussed with them on the lines of the same question. I see it time and time again that, when one is already emotionally involved in an attraction/relationship, it is a battle for him/her to reason out this question. I’ve battled it. It was difficult. But there was a time i had to tell my heart “NO !” and give my mind its presence, for I was convinced of what i was about to do. So i see again the humility that difficult relational tensions impose on people, recommending them to ‘shut-up and listen’.

I  have heard recently a statement “Love is Blind, and Marriage is the Eye Opener”. As humorous as it may sound, it is a sad tragic fact from the pages of history to the very hour in which we are living. However, I disagree on the first part of the statement:”LOVE is Blind”. We as youngsters many times replace ‘Emotion’ with ‘Love’. If it is said “Emotions  are Blind, and Marriage is the Eye Opener”, i would more agree with the statement. Because as I mentioned before, in the weight of emotions we kick reason through the backdoor, not realizing that it’s wisdom which is on its way out.

My thoughts actually points out to few of my thoughts which i have already shared in my previous posts( Link1 , Link2 , Link3 ). Why is the reason that i would like to be in relationship ?!  And if I’m already in a relationship, “what do i like about her/him ?”

As I’m a guy, let me share thoughts from my eye view. As frank as i can be, Beauty n’ appearance is one of the main things that appeals to guys, which in turn moves to a sexual motive. But many times we make the mistake of grasping the face and missing the heart. I was emotionally involved with a girl who was beautiful in appearance. It was not only her appearance that attracted me to her, but also a desperate need from within for love and acceptance, and to someone to talk to. It took time for me to realize that there was much more to it. Midst the struggle of trying to maintain a stable relationship with her, few things caught my eye which caused me to rethink about whatever was going on. I came to realize that heart matters much more than the appearance of her. The manifestation of what was in her heart even through her simple gestures were not desirable nor attractive, at-least to me. During this time, God stepped into my life, filling my desperate need for love and acceptance through the person of Jesus Christ. As i was out of that emotional stranglehold, the grasses were much greener and i could see the pros and cons of that relationship. I’m not saying here that she was bad for I’m not a judge, but it was a revelation that we would never get along together well in the long run. Maybe she had a need to be fulfilled too. Maybe she was having in her own life struggles.

Currently, I’m growing in my relationship with God. I’m seeking more of Him so that when it’s time, I have more to share with my partner than to take/grab from her out of desperation. My heart that we would look at the Presence of God, beauty of the heart and appearance, yet the presence of mind, and the Wisdom of the elders as the starting point of a life together as man n’ woman, husband n’ wife.

Dear reader,


If you are a follower of Christ Jesus, I’d like to share a few more thoughts. If you are in desperation to be in a relationship with someone, I’d encourage you to look into your own life, your own heart. See what is missing. What is the cause of the desperation ? Is it some area in which you have not allowed Jesus to work in your life? Are you feeling empty ? Do you need
help ?! A partner can satisfy your needs only for a short time, if he/she too in desperation.  Is it what you want from your life ? But that’s Not what Jesus has called you for. Through Jesus you are the son of the Living God, through adoption (Eph 1), which makes God your Father. Ask Him, and He can and will fill you. Have a walk with God. Drink from Him. Live and Out of Him. Doesn’t matter how far you feel you are away from God. That’s the whole point. He is right there to meet you where you are. It’s just a matter of a turn, a U- Turn.

Regards

George, Ashrit Mathew

%d bloggers like this: