There is always a Choice to Turn Back towards Restoration…

Archive for June, 2012

A Story of restoration, from a death bed

Dear friend,

If you were wondering, why isn’t there a continuation post in the AGPL series, the reason is that i was critically unwell and was hospitalized. This is the testimony of my recovery. May God encourage you in someway 🙂

According to me it all started with a chicken. That eve I ate the chicken, and on the next morning was a red-hot guy sitting at my desk in my HP office. I was burning as hot as the sun in the Chennai summer noon. Unlike the other times this was different. First that it made me exhausted n’ tired. Second, after long years of relief from Astma, it was only then was I having a breathing problem.

As I reached home, I could barely move, unfortunately, by that time the painters had started re-painting my rented home. And my mom was worried as “I have not seen him like this for long years” said she. But I had to smile with an intention to make her feel better. She told me that she would take me to the Church on the bike to which I declined. Gathering all my strength I took myself and walked to church texting mom at every checkpoint that I’m still ok to make sure that I will reach to church walking. Reached the church, grabbed the house keys from uncle’s parents and crashed in the guest room.

As the boys, Gold, and Sylvester came in the evening, poor fellows ! They didn’t know whom they were going to meet. Gold was like “comon man you can do it” and Sylvester, well he was trying to make me laugh like always. But soon they realized that I couldn’t gather my strength. Gold started putting ice on my head, but I was so determined to be hot. I tried to sleep but I couldn’t. Cuz during sleep we take deep long breathe which I couldn’t. My mind as always wouldn’t stop thinking too. I thought about the politics, life, marriage and so on. It was difficult. So tired, feverish, unable to breath, lots of thoughts blazing through my mind, and without sleep.

One fact about me is that, the last thing I’d ask for was a doctor or a hospital. No matter what sickness, I believed that “I’ll survive. I will overcome”. It was about “I” being on top of it all. But the next night changed it all. As I was unable to sleep, I started walking at 3:40 am inside the house like the ghost. And I felt like fainting and for the first time, I found really helpless  and I dialed Gold, and said “help”. Poor fellow didn’t have a proper sleep for over 48 hrs, yet he came down with Silly, and in let than 20 minutes, I was in hospital.  Admitted ! Amidst these, I kept the Facebook updated, thanks to Android.

Sooner was I joined by mom, and Sanaton. The Doctor was scratching his head trying to figure out what’s wrong with me, and he exclaimed. “He is a complicated guy ”. The beautiful nurses laid down their frustration on me through the needles that pierced through my veins. Blood suckers. I’m not sure how much blood they took. At the day of discharge I’d a lot of black dots on my hand. The blood test reports came in and they said “The platelets are going down”. Thinking that it was something as important as “cutlet”, I went off to sleep. Some concluded that I had “Dungui fever”, which I heard “donkey fever”, which others said “we have to wait for further investigation” like I was a crime scene. And soon I found myself in the scanning section of the maternity ward which raised a lot of questions in my mind. But to my appointment/disappointment, the doctor inside informed me that “I was not pregnant”.

In the background was someone who put her hand into it, Achsah with her VIP contacts brought down Dr. Prabhu from Apollo Hospitals. He was after my blood. But He encouraged that everything will be all right. Soon was I made know that I had turned into a temporary vampire? I needed blood to survive. More specifically, Blood platelets. I needed AB+ blood platelets. They tried the same from blood bank from multiple donors which didn’t work. And then the angel came, our friend and sister, Pushpa. She went to Apollo gave some of her platelets which soon was in my body and I started recovering as the platelets started multiplying in my body. Fever came down. And my breathing issues were also dealt with. Adah was here and there all over the place. Where does she get the energy from, I wonder?

But again in another stage, God was doing something else. An un-invited, surprise visit of my father and my eldest brother. It was a surprise and a joy, yet unable to express. It had been long years since I spoke and saw my father and another chance to see my brother even though in constant touch. We had a good chat. All went well. They left the next evening. The so-called Mistakes are mistakes for man. So not for God. He turns man’s mistakes to His glory by adding it into History which ultimately reveals How He took the glory all through it. I believe that God is doing something powerful. Something none can ever imagine. So I’m not wasting my time imagining about it.

During the time, unexpected visitors from my office came in to. My lead, manager, trainers and few of my colleagues. It was good to see them unofficially, as simple as they are. I was humbled by their humility.

I was discharged and was privileged to be in the boy’s new home for the first eve. Few events which happened over there are hidden for my security reasons.

In this story are people, lots of people. Some named, some unnamed. I can’t explain more about what they did in this article, as trying to explaining more of what they did would be equal to undermining what they have a done for me. Can words completely explain a picture or the feeling of being rescued from death? Do I have words to thank everyone involved in it? Neither am I an English pundit, nor am I God.

But Mom, I love you. I can’t explain what you went through neither can I read your mind. But I just say that I love you.

At the end, I’d like to share few experiences in my personal life.

The first thing was humility. I was weak and helpless. God broke the pride in me so that with a humble heart I can cry out for help. That stays as one of my lessons. One of the ways of being humble is by asking for help so that the glory goes to the helper.

During the difficult times, I made 3 prayers in my heart. Let Your Kingdom Come, Let Your Will be done, and if I die, it MUST be for a greater Glory of my King.

I remember someone praying for me. As I was so weak that i couldn’t follow what they prayed either. But was this immense courage in me to sing loudly “To Him Who Sits on the Throne, and Unto the Lamb. Be Blessing and glory and honor and power forever ”.

The whole situation again, slowed me down, to wait, to rest, to find myself in the arms of my Father God. It was difficult, yet encouraging.

But here is my main point. I really don’t know even now what exactly went wrong. It was not completely “dungui fever” or Asthma or what the condition was called. But I do know one thing, who My family is.  My church. During the time, in the initial stages my mentors were away for a brief period. The Church shows her character and her heart when she goes through difficulty. The circumstances become the opportunity to BE who she really is in those situations. It broke down few of my un-surfaced barriers within me, answering my question “how big my family really is”. I’m today glad to say that the family size is now more than I could ever imagine. My family is across languages, across cultures, across regions, across voices, but yet united in one spirit in Christ. My church I love you, you are my family. May Our LORD really bless us and help us to be who we are meant to me. The bride of Christ, the representative of who He is, in the world to the world.


                         But the GREATEST IS LOVE !!!

God Bless you !

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