“A man who won’t die for something is not fit to live” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
It takes me back to times when I was searching for love, or someone whom I can relate with intimately, till I found the common solution for both the seeks. As I approached different girls attracted by their beauty, or may be lust in my heart, I was rejected and all attempts failed over and over again. I was foolish. I didn’t even know what I was looking for, ‘Love’ ? If you had asked me at that time, “what is love ?”, I’m not sure if I was in a position to answer that then. If God had not intervened in time, I would have hurt a lots more women, and might have ended up violating them.
There was a time I was emotionally involved with this woman in another country whom I shall leave unnamed. She was beautiful, emotionally sensitive, a simple girl, a broken family, father, a drinker. Whenever I approached her, she made excuses to not to relate with me, and told how unrealistic the relationship would be as both the countries are afar. But cleverly did I give her the calculations of the money involved in the conveyance, and showy I trapped her in, after which we skyped and had regular conversations. I knew I was doing something wrong, and I violated many values which I thought I’d never violate. I was in desperation of love, or what was it anyway? I was just going on the weight of emotions.
One fine Friday, she came on my messenger and told me those golden words “I love You”, to which I responded “What do you mean ?”. I’d no clue what was happening. My mind totally went blank. So after all these years, what I went after is something that I didn’t understand ? That day, I closed the conversation without a response and totally blank, and she, helpless. The next day, during a prayer meeting, I heard the voice “NO”, and I was clear it was about this relationship which I started on the wrong foundation, which was on emotions, evil, lust and lies. Then I said to myself “If it is from GOD, I will obey. Even if it’s not from GOD, I will obey it as if GOD’s will, He will bring it back.” And in half an hour the whole thing was dissolved. Of course she couldn’t handle it, and I as normal guys, I didn’t know what I just did or how to handle or didn’t care much about the girl. As the rest of what I did concerning that is irrelevant to this article, I’m leaving that out. This I’d say that, I asked her apology, and connected her with one of the matured married Christian lady friends in that country and encouraged her to be in touch. Now as I look back, I see that small obedience to the voice which I heard, was the beginning of a change in my life, forever. It was after this that I started my first blog on relationships.
We youngsters are and having been craving for love, many times not realizing what we are craving for. Love is nothing but a word, if there is no commitment. I’ve heard it, time and time again from people who are in relationship, the answer to my question “When are you getting married?” or “Are you sure that he/she is going to marry you ?”. The response was either negative or gray.
A promise must never be broken – Alexander Hamilton
Through the Word of GOD, and my experiences, I started to understanding the real meaning of Love. Love is not just a word, not just a feeling, not just an expression, but a commitment to continuous expression of interest and in intimacy life long , and to never let go, even if the sky falls down. The moment you and I say that “I am in love with you”, or “I love you”, you are entering and committing to a relationship which is everlasting, else we are just playing with words & lying to self and others.
Unfortunately, many don’t know this as this has not been received or experienced from their parents and the even parents might not have received this love. For this revelation only comes from GOD through the Bible. The moment you and I understand and experience the Committed, Never ending, Unconditional, Experiential, Never Failing, Resurrecting, and Restoring Love, we are revealed of a greater depth of understanding of what it means to Love others.
True Love casts out fear for True love expels the darkness. Many people say, “we both are in love, and it’s not required to get married. we can live together. ” Sadly, what they are actually saying is that “We want to keep our options open, We are not sure if tomorrow’s mood and desire allows to like to like this man/woman. ” The naked truth is that, both wants to use each other for their own selfish pleasures and desires, nothing to do with Love. If you are claiming to be in love, test your love and ‘tie the knot’. Don’t beat around the bush. And all this, do it in the presence of your people, so that there is no way out of it, no matter what, but there is help and advice when you need, in taking forward the relationship. That is committed True Love.
To man : If you claim to be in Love with a woman, show that you are man enough to hold her hand and with the assistance of your Old man, ask her parents for her hand. If they don’t allow, that’s a different story. We might talk about that later. But if you think you need more time for a commitment, then wait, respect the lady, respect her body, and for heaven sake don’t abuse her. You prove that you are a man by loving, respecting and protecting the lady you love. Don’t be a Chicken !!
To woman : If some guy claims that he is in love with you, don’t fall for it. Know who you are. Don’t let him take your emotions for granted. Draw the boundaries. If he is crossing the boundaries, believe me when I tell you this, ‘he will never respect you and your opinion for the rest of your lives’. Don’t let him touch your body before he declares in front of his parents/elders/mentors that you are his girl forever, and the ‘knot is tied’ & the ‘ring is exchanged’.
Now, many of you think all that I’ve said is impossible unless a miracle happens. Then the rest of the article is for you and especially if you are a true follower of Jesus Christ.
The reason the Son of GOD, Jesus came to this earth as human, and died is because He loved us, He wanted to save us from sin. In other words, GOD not only claimed that He loved us, He expressed it through Jesus Christ, His only Son. Jesus rose again on the third day, so that we will have a life and hope again. GOD in Himself is Love. GOD in Himself is expression of that Love, through action. And He wishes to ravished that love on us, and in us. Once you start receiving His Love, through the Word He has given us, you will see a whole new dimension to the Word LOVE. Further more, Jesus expects and commands you to love your partner like His love for us; unchanging, unconditional, committed, earth-shaking, history making, and even life-giving.
We now a days, we despise and reject the counsel of the elders/mentors, and finally we end up in a real bad state. What I would suggest you is that, IF YOU KNOW, BELIEVE, and SEE that your mentor/elder is having a close walk with Jesus Christ or if they know who you are and if you have the freedom to be transparent with them, then share it with him/her, share your desire before presenting it to the man or woman, and take counsel. But before anything PRAY. None knows the future and the other person better that GOD Himself, who holds the time in His hands, and who know who is who, and how is who.
“You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist” – Indira Gandhi
May God Bless You !!